The Collection (2012)

Directed by Marcus Dunstan.  Written by Dunstan and Patrick Melton.  Starring Josh Stewart, Christopher McDonald, Emma Fitzpatrick and Navi Rawat.

Plot: the man who “escaped” The Collector is hired to help a rich man save his daughter from the The Collector after he kidnaps her


Let me start by saying that although this movie has the same writers and director as the first movie, this movie is way better.  We’re glad we gave it another chance.

The Collector is a pussy as usual and stronger than ever.  We still had to watch several dogs die and the killer’s motive is still unclear.  But this all ends well, unlike the first movie.

The traps were good again.  There’s a lovely script, an excellent cast, exceptional special effects and we even really dug the story.  The opening was memorable.  The ending was a blast.  It was just so so much better than the original.

If you’ve watched the original, watch this one too, no matter what you thought of it.  If you haven’t watched the original, you can totally just jump into this one.  It’s not like you have to have seen the first movie.

My score: 73.  DJ’s score: 58.

Posted in action, horror, movies, reviews, sequel, series | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Collector (2009)

Directed by Marcus Dunstan.  Written by Dunstan and Patrick Melton.  Starring Josh Stewart, Andrea Roth and Madeline Zima.

Plot: an ex-con plans a heist at his new employer’s home unaware that a second, more vicious criminal has rigged the house with deadly, highly innovative, traps


The first in the collection series and this movie has almost no merit at all.  DJ didn’t even want to watch it because the plot didn’t sound good to him.  He did though and then he hated himself for it.  It really pissed away all his chances.

2 animals die in the movie – a cat and a dog.  The killer seems to have super powers.  It’s unrealistic, there’s no motive and no rules.  How did he have time to set all that shit up?  And in the end, DJ hated that he had to be so worried about the little girls.  We won’t give too much away, but when the ambulance comes, no police come with them.  Again.  Unrealistic.

The redeeming qualities it did have were few, but I’ll explain.  The innovation was commendable.  It was an original story, even if an awful one.  And the acting was okay, too.

But all in all, we do not recommend.  PLEASE DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE!!

My score: 24.  DJ’s score: 10.

Posted in action, horror, movies, reviews, series | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Carrie (2013)

Written by Lawrence D. Cohen and Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa

Based on the novel by Stephen King

Directed by Kimberly Pierce

Starring Chloe Grace Moretz, Julianne Moore and Judy Greer

Plot: A bullied girl uses her telekinetic powers to exact revenge on the perpetrators of a horrible prank.


We still do NOT understand her love for her mother, sure she is the mother but she was also an abusive piece of shit. Hard to like anyone in the movie, we even wanted to just shake Carrie awake. We like that in this one she actually practices her powers and they were pretty cool in this one. She killed more discriminately and the kills were more satisfying. She does not kill anyone who doesn’t deserve to die.


This movie was a nice reworking from the story. It had really well done innovation. It followed rules, had a great cast and good special effects. We still don’t love the Carrie story but this one was better.

Tara liked it with a score of 60 and i liked it just a bit more with a 65/100

Posted in horror, movies, stephen king | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)

Directed by Katt Shea.  Written by Rafael Moreu.  Starring Emily Bergl, Jason London, Mena Suvari, Zachery Ty Bryan and Eddie Kay Thomas.

Plot: after her bullied best friend commits suicide, a powerful, telekinetic girl gets revenge by attacking the popular students


Here’s a sequel that didn’t need to be made.  Carrie 2 starts off with a terrible script and ends up a terrible story.  The first half hour or so isn’t that bad, but then it gets very dull, very quickly.

Apparently, Carrie was Rachel’s (Bergl) half-sister.  And apparently this “gift” is passed down through males although they never really explain that.  She and her only friend are bullied just like Carrie was.  But she’s a bit dumber than Carrie ever was, I feel.  I mean, in the end, did she really think these people had changed their spots?  I’m made to believe that she does believe that and that makes her one of the dumbest characters in any movie I’ve ever seen.

The movie is unrealistic and it treats you like you are stupid.  It’s essentially one long episode of Dawson’s Creek with some blood at the end.  (Though I must say, I like Dawson’s Creek more than this movie.)  We can’t believe the woman who played Sue in the original movie agreed to come back for this.

There were a few good things about the movie.  The acting wasn’t terrible for one.  I enjoy looking at Jason London as well.  And in the end, he got to keep the dog.  I mean, the dog didn’t die which is almost unheard of in horror movies, so I love it.  I still don’t recommend the movie though.

My score: 26.  DJ’s score: 18.

Posted in horror, movies, reviews, sequel, stephen king | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Carrie (1976)

Directed by Brian De Palma.  Written by Lawrence D. Cohen, based on the novel of the same name by Stephen King.  Starring Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, John Travolta, Nancy Allen, Amy Irving, William Katt and P.J. Soles.

Plot: telekinetic Carrie is abused at home and at school and it all comes to a tragic boiling point at the school prom


Carrie’s mother is heavily religious and puts Carrie through hell for no good reason.  The girls at school do the same thing for different reasons.  No one is really good to Carrie.  One teacher isn’t bad to her, but she doesn’t see the warning signs that Carrie’s about to go off, too.  There’s Sue and Tommy, too, who we actually grew to like in the film.  It’s sad about what happens to them.

While this is a classic, it’s not me and DJ’s favorite.  It’s original, but what is the point of it all?  To teach us that everyone dies?  There is no rules, no Freddy Claws and the religious aspects are so heavy handed, but without much of a reason.  Also, DJ thinks that Piper Laurie’s character was a bit cartoonish.  But perhaps she was supposed to be.

There’s a lot of gratuitous boob shots and girls playing volleyball and girls doing exercises and girls getting showers.  The soundtrack to it all is hideous though, and ends up making the movie look like one big tampon commercial.

All in all the story starts pretty well, but the end sucks.  We don’t get the hoopla.  DJ does not really like the movie at all and I simply find it mediocre.

My score: 50.  DJ’s score: 30.

Posted in classics, horror, movies, reviews, stephen king | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Splinter (2008)

Written by Ian Shorr and Kai Barry

Directed by Toby Wilkins

Starring: Jill Wagner, Paulo Constanzo and Shea Whigham

Plot: A young couple and a convict must work together after being trapped inside a gas station by a parasite who turns its hosts into killers


This movie has a good cast and good effects. Though we only really liked Jill at the beginning, others grew on us. It had a great motive int hat the parasites represented nature and therefor survival. The rules were well established and followed.




::::::::SPOILERS AHEAD::::::::::



The movie starts off with our couple being carjacked by a psycho couple. They get to a gas station where the attendant attacks the bad female and kills her and she becomes more evil. The good couple and the psycho man are trapped inside the gas station by two parasites that try to get inside. The pieces can act independently of the whole. The bad guy eventually partially redeems himself by making the ultimate sacrifice for the couple.

Bottom line is when the shit hit the fan they worked well together.

We both really enjoyed it, Tara with a 74 and me with a 79/100




Posted in horror | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Dorm That Dripped Blood (1982)

Directed by Stephen Carpenter and Jeffrey Obrow.  Written by Carpenter, Obrow and Stacey Giachino.  Starring Laurie Lapinski, Stephen Sachs and Daphne Zuniga.

Plot: a group of college students are stalked while staying on campus during Christmas vacation to clean out an old dorm set to be demolished


The plot is what the plot is.  It’s your typical slasher movie.  Fun and funny.  It didn’t have the best effects, but they were pretty good for 82.  The deaths were very violent with a good amount of innovation.  There was decent acting, an okay story and an alright twist.  It was a solid 80’s B-movie, but it shit the bed.  Not too, too hard, but there were definite skid marks.

After the twist occurs, we assumed that things would fall into place and be wrapped up with a marvelous bow, but this was not to be.



It turns out that Craig, their “friend”, was the killer all along.  And he kills everyone.  Everyone!  And then he gets away with it.  Yup.  So stupid, mostly because there was no Freddy Claws at all.

So, you can totally watch it.  It’s entertaining as hell, it just doesn’t end well.

Our score: 53.

Posted in horror, movies, reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Mangler (1995)

Directed by Tobe Hooper.  Screenplay written by Hooper, Stephen David Brooks and Harry Alan Towers, based on a short story by Stephen King.  Starring Ted Levine, Robert Englund, Daniel Matmor, Jeremy Crutchley and Todd Jensen.

Plot: much like the short story it’s based on, the movie is about a large folding machine that turns evil


The movie starts out just like the short story, which I really enjoyed.  However, it deviates from it greatly later on and turns into something completely ridiculous.

In the beginning, the mangler folds up a woman.  It’s real nice, too.  The police detective comes to investigate.  When he can’t make heads or tales of it, he turns to a friend and together they decide that it’s possessed.  The specials were good and the main characters were likable, but we really didn’t like the direction Hooper took the movie.

We don’t understand the Robert Englund character at all and the stupid prosthetic makeup on him.  Way too ridiculous.  And he wasn’t even in the book.  We understand that they needed something extra to spread the movie out, but this was not the way to go.

The end also sucked.  It didn’t make any sense.

Our score: 31.

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,

Then are dreamt of in your philosophy.”  -Shakespeare

Posted in demons, horror, movies, reviews, stephen king | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge (1989)

Directed by Richard Friedman.  Written by Scott Schneid, Frederick R. Ulrich, Robert King and Tony Michelman.  Starring Rob Estes, Pauly Shore, Morgan Fairchild, Ken Foree, Tom Fridley and Derek Rydell.

Plot: a young man apparently dies in a fire and then stalks the new mall built where his old house used to be


So, this movie is a piece of crap.  We can’t believe that 4 people helped write this.  We did laugh though.  Unintentionally, but still.

After his death, Eric comes back stronger than before, with a much deeper voice.  He’s also become a championship kickboxer, ninja, cowboy, electrician, bomb maker, psycho.  It makes absolutely no sense.  It’s unrealistic and boring.

If you do decide to watch it though, please wait for the end credits when you can listen to the loud, horribly catchy and completely offensive “Is There A Phantom in the Mall?” song.

Our score: 22.

Posted in horror, movies, reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Ruins (2008)

Directed by Carter Smith.  Novel and screenplay written by Scott B. Smith.  Starring Jena Malone, Jonathan Tucker, Shawn Ashmore, Laura Ramsey and Joe Anderson.

Plot: a group of friends leisurely holiday takes a turn for the worse when they go to see some ancient ruins where evil lives

as ruínas

So, a group of Americans go to Mexico, completely ignore the locals warnings and get into serious trouble with evil ruins.  Sounds about right.  That’s all there is to it really.  That’s the plot.  That’s the rub.

There are bad things about the movie.  Amy (Malone) is a little slut and she’s so stupid with her fucking camera.  No one’s really likable though.  And there’s no back story to these ruins.  Not sure why they are so evil.  Or so gross.  So, so gross.

The movie also seems a bit unrealistic in parts.  Like when they’re cutting off dude’s legs: he really should’ve passed out at some point.

Mostly the movie’s good though.  It’s really creepy.  Really nasty.  And you get to watch stupid people die.  When one of them declares “4 Americans on vacation don’t just disappear”, you want them all to die, because yes, you idiot, Americans disappear all the time.  That’s why movie’s like this are made.

Our score: 58.  Watch and try not to throw up.

Posted in horror, movies, reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment