The following list is comprised of 10 movies that DJ and I couldn’t get through for one reason or another. I promise you that we rarely turn off movies, so this is bad. I’ll try to explain why they were turned off the best way that I can.
1. Extinction: The G.M.O. Chronicles (2011)
This movie is listed as a drama/horror on IMDB (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1416336/) and I suppose we should have listened more to the drama part of it. It is boring. Not really a horror movie at all. And not really a good drama either. After a whole hour we still weren’t invested in anyone on screen or anything going on. So, we turned it off.
2. Trapped Ashes (2006)
How you can mix horror and boobs and come up with this shit is beyond us? This is one of the worst anthologies we’ve ever turned on. Everything is about sex and not in a good way. It’s just weird for the sake of weird. DJ actually liked one of the shorts, but not enough to keep watching. Me, I was just disgusted the whole time.
3. Wages of Sin (2006)
So, this girl inherits a house after her birth mother dies. Or at least we think that’s what happens. We didn’t get too far into it. The acting is pretty decent for a low budget movie, but the picture itself was shaking. It literally looked like it was vibrating. It made you feel like you were vibrating. We turned it off because it was giving us headaches.
4. Fever Night (2009)
This is horrible. First of all, there is a warning at the beginning of the movie. Literally, a warning. That watching the movie could be dangerous. Yes, it was dangerous. Because it sucked so bad. We couldn’t even laugh about it, it was that bad.
5. The Legend of Bloody Jack (2007)
Once you turn this on, if you turn this on, you’ll know why we turned it off. It was made for $1, we’re pretty sure. We actually made it through a good portion of film though because we were having fun tearing it apart. The soundtrack sucks, the killer is not scary, it was overly dramatic and poorly written. There were boob shots though, but we’re not sure you will want to see all of them. We turned it off when we checked the clock and realized we still had 30 minutes to go. LOL
6. Zombie Massacre AKA ApocalypseZ (2013)
This is a horror movie with an action movie formula. A group of mercenaries are sent to cover up a government accident that turned people into zombies. It was a horrible script and it was horribly acted. The things that come out of these people’s mouths is hilarious. One big thing was that all the “US” people were clearly not from the US. They didn’t even attempt to cover up their accents. We turned it off after 30 minutes.
7. Aberration (1997)
Apparently there are killer lizards in this movie and perhaps one day this movie will be given another shot. We only turned it off because we were tired of waiting for something to actually happened and we had other movies waiting in the wings. But fair warning, the movie is slow. So slow. And we did not like the main girl who takes up 90% of the screen time talking to her cat. We turned if off after 45 minutes or so of nothing happening.
8. Ghost Game (2004)
This is listed as comedy/horror, but it is not comedic nor horrific. And there’s so much wrong with the movie. 1 – The closeted guy that runs around calling everyone else “gay” is not funny. Why does he want to show everyone else his balls? Eww. 2 – You can’t put a braid in someone’s hair and tell us she loves Stevie Nicks and make us accept that she’s from the 70’s. She wasn’t even wearing a 70’s wardrobe. 3 – How is that one guy an astrophysicist? And if he is, why does that make him an expert in Wicca and Chinese symbols? I mean, Jesus Christ! 4 – El Nino is NOT most harsh on the West Coast. If you’re going to say things, do your research!
9. The Lost Tribe (2009)
This is a knock-off of Predator. Every single thing about it is a Predator rip off. DJ made us turn this one off because, as a fan of Predator, he was so angry he couldn’t watch it.
10. Attack of the Puppet People (1958)
This was not a bad movie. It just wasn’t a horror movie. It was more sci-fi I suppose. But it also took itself way to seriously. I guess at one time, this was frightening as hell, but these days it just doesn’t work.
So, do you agree with us? Have you seen any of these gems for yourself? We feel bad for you if you have. 😦