Captivity (2007)

Directed by Roland Joffe.  Written by Larry Cohen and Joseph Tura.  Starring Elisha Cuthbert and Daniel Gillies.

Plot: a woman wakes up in a cellar having been captured by a psychotic man

captivity_Jennifer2

This will be real easy because we hated this movie.  A very unlikable protagonist gets captured by a slightly more likable killer.  When the movie starts you think it’s going to be pretty much torture porn to a tee.  Well, it’s not.  And not that I’m not grateful for that, but it’s still pretty twisted and fucked up.  For instance, in one scene the killer, who has kidnapped her dog as well, tells her that if she doesn’t shoot her dog he’s going to kill her.

WTF?!?!

We couldn’t kill our dogs for anything.  Not even to save our own lives.  Our dogs are our family.  Our babies.  What kind of evil could kill their own puppies?

Apparently Elisha Cuthbert could.  That’s who!  And as soon as she pulls that trigger, DJ and I are done.  We are no longer rooting for her.  We no longer care if she dies.  Plus, the killer is a little more civilized as it turns out, and the dog she shot was fake.  Her dog is still alive and well as it turns out.

Altogether we feel it was a complete waste of a movie.  We both gave it a 19/100.  This movie may have captivated Elisha, but it did not captivate us.

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About TaraRomero

I suppose I could list my favorite movies here, but instead I'll give you a strange glimpse into what makes me TaraRomero. 1. When I'm alone I like to sing really loudly to songs I know really well and pretend I'm actually good at it. 2. I am a bonified Hiddlestoner. 3. I have kept a journal for the last 25 years and I still own every one of them. 4. I like ordering travel magazines and picking out trips I'm going to take when I'm rich. 5. I'm currently worrying about my brother. I always worry about my brother. He's younger and it's my job. 6. If I knew I was dying in one hour, I would type a very strange email and then go spend time with my family (including my fur babies). 7. The best non-horror movie I've seen recently is The Giant Mechanical Man. 8. I am obsessed with Bob's Burgers and I watch one episode every night before I go to bed. 9. If I had a son I'd name him Malachai (as in Christian Mythology). If I had a daughter I'd name her Antigone (as in Greek Mythology). 10. My favorite band is and I supposed always will be, Matchbox Twenty. However, the music has become more upbeat lately and I don't like it as much. Just being honest.
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