The Canal (2014)

Written and directed by Ivan Kavanagh.  Starring Rupert Evans and the cutest little boy in the whole world, Calum Heath (see pic below).

Plot: David’s wife, Alice, is cheating on him and then she turns up dead and he’s the prime suspect – while he maintains his innocence and tries to care for his little boy, Billy, he starts going very crazy-bananas and begins to hear and see things no one else can hear or see

CANAL_Piers_McGrail_Billy_Calum_Heath_380Almost immediately, DJ hated this movie.  He said so a number of times while we were still watching it.  It’s a little trippy.  A lot of scenes jumping around.  You don’t know what’s real and what isn’t and unfortunately our David doesn’t either.  Although he quickly becomes convinced that his house is haunted and that a ghost killed his wife and that he has to protect everyone he loves (son, nanny, co-worker, etc.).

Most of the movie isn’t really horror, it’s just horrible drama.  I probably should have turned it off when DJ wanted to, but I sort of talked him into keeping it rolling.  I paid for my decision by having to sit through a repugnant scene involving a dead woman giving birth only to discover that wasn’t the worse bit.  The ending of this film (and I use that word loosely) has the most loathsome ending to anything I’ve ever seen.  My hands flew to my face so fast that I almost hurt myself.  I just couldn’t risk seeing anything I wouldn’t recover from.  We believe Ivan Kavanagh may be a psychopath.

I don’t usually engage in spoilers, but for sensitive folks like myself or perhaps folks with small children, I’m putting a spoiler at the end of this as a warning to those attempting to watch the movie.  It was a mess and my brother insists that Ivan was just trying to upset people for upsetting’s sake, but the acting was great and the effects were fantastic, so it did get an overall score of 18/100 from both me and DJ.


***SPOILERS***SPOILERS***SPOILERS***

At one point in this movie a dead woman gives birth to what appears to be a dead fetus, but the fetus does move, so there’s that.

The other incident that really shook my moral compass takes place at the very end of the film.  David dies and he – or maybe a demon that sounds like him – decides to talk to Billy and inform him that there is a way that he can join him and his mother on the other side where they can all be together.  You know this isn’t going to end well as soon as they begin talking, but while Billy is in the back seat of his grandmother’s car, he takes off his seat belt, opens the moving car’s back door and throws himself out.  You don’t see much, but there is a thumping sound and it’s terribly nauseating.  Watch at your own risk.

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About TaraRomero

I suppose I could list my favorite movies here, but instead I'll give you a strange glimpse into what makes me TaraRomero. 1. When I'm alone I like to sing really loudly to songs I know really well and pretend I'm actually good at it. 2. I am a bonified Hiddlestoner. 3. I have kept a journal for the last 25 years and I still own every one of them. 4. I like ordering travel magazines and picking out trips I'm going to take when I'm rich. 5. I'm currently worrying about my brother. I always worry about my brother. He's younger and it's my job. 6. If I knew I was dying in one hour, I would type a very strange email and then go spend time with my family (including my fur babies). 7. The best non-horror movie I've seen recently is The Giant Mechanical Man. 8. I am obsessed with Bob's Burgers and I watch one episode every night before I go to bed. 9. If I had a son I'd name him Malachai (as in Christian Mythology). If I had a daughter I'd name her Antigone (as in Greek Mythology). 10. My favorite band is and I supposed always will be, Matchbox Twenty. However, the music has become more upbeat lately and I don't like it as much. Just being honest.
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