Self Storage (2013)

Written and directed and starring Tom DeNucci.  Also stars Eric Roberts, Michael Berryman and Jonathan Silverman.

Plot: a self storage night watchmen invites some of his friends over to party not realizing that his boss is a psychopathic killer

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First of all, it is very rare that we come across a movie directed by, written by and starring the same person and find it to be a fantastic film.  Unfortunately, this one is no better.  I don’t know Eric Roberts or Jonathan Silverman, but I can say – without a doubt – that Michael Berryman is too good for this movie.

Second of all, we do not like opening sequences that go on far, far, far too long and contain 16 different scenes of the director/writer/star hitting the bong.  We Get It!!  He’s a pothead.  There’s going to be drugs in this movie.  Most likely a party scene – or seven.  He doesn’t manage to keep us engaged in what’s going on in the movie (ie. party, drugs, death, party, drugs, drugs, drugs, death – repeat).  He doesn’t give us a back story for any of the friends he invites over, so we don’t really give a shit when they die.  And although we pretty much knew this movie wasn’t going to get a high score, he totally FUCKED the ending.  I mean, she’s got a scar now?  She’s scarred?  SHE HAS A SCAR?!!!  Are you kidding me?!!

To completely understand my frustration you would have to watch this trash, but I don’t recommend it.  However, to give it some points, it was funny every once in a while.  Also, for such a low budget I-did-everything-by-myself movie, the effects weren’t all that horrible.  Some bodies get cut up and they look quite realistic and quite disgusting.

Little side note about where me and DJ are mentally – a guy’s knee gets cut open and it looks fantastic and we’re laughing and chatting about how impressed we are.  But then some character pukes on the ground and we shudder.  Cause puke is just nasty.

We do not recommend this.  At all.  We only gave it a 16/100.  As far as we can tell though, no one else recommends this movie either, so watch at your own risk.  Or watch Storage 24 instead.  Much better movie.

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About TaraRomero

I suppose I could list my favorite movies here, but instead I'll give you a strange glimpse into what makes me TaraRomero. 1. When I'm alone I like to sing really loudly to songs I know really well and pretend I'm actually good at it. 2. I am a bonified Hiddlestoner. 3. I have kept a journal for the last 25 years and I still own every one of them. 4. I like ordering travel magazines and picking out trips I'm going to take when I'm rich. 5. I'm currently worrying about my brother. I always worry about my brother. He's younger and it's my job. 6. If I knew I was dying in one hour, I would type a very strange email and then go spend time with my family (including my fur babies). 7. The best non-horror movie I've seen recently is The Giant Mechanical Man. 8. I am obsessed with Bob's Burgers and I watch one episode every night before I go to bed. 9. If I had a son I'd name him Malachai (as in Christian Mythology). If I had a daughter I'd name her Antigone (as in Greek Mythology). 10. My favorite band is and I supposed always will be, Matchbox Twenty. However, the music has become more upbeat lately and I don't like it as much. Just being honest.
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