Ghost Town (2009)

Directed by Todor Chapkanov (who was First Assistant Director of some terrible movies such as Lake Placid 2, Messengers 2 and Wrong Turn 3).  Written by Andy Briggs.  Stars Billy Drago.

Plot: a group of students on their way back from a debate contest get stranded in a ghost town after their bus breaks down

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This is an original SyFy movie, but that doesn’t automatically make it bad.  Me and DJ have liked a few of those.  But this one is bad.  Here’s why:

The history behind this ghost town is ridiculous.  See, there’s this Satan worshiping cowboy (Drago, of course) who made a deal with the devil for immortality, so even after him and his gang die, they haunt the place. Why they decide to do this or who they are is never really explained other than they are Devil Worshiping Cowboys.  Yay?!  What really gets us though, is the holy man who stopped them originally.  He’s a preacher, who believes in the devil (which is actually more uncommon then you’d think for Christ’s followers) and uses Wicca to save the town.  Seriously?!!?  Inconceivable!!!  And the kids!!  OMG the kids!! They are all so annoying.  All they do is take turns telling the each other to shut up.  And four of them just happen to know EVERYTHING they’ve EVER needed to know about ALL things Wiccan, Christian, math based and symbolic.  It’s damn hysterical even though it had no intention of being so.

The camera angles are ridiculous.  The constant bobbing and weaving gave me a headache. The acting is terrible, the effects are terrible and the dialogue is terrible.  True story, one of the lines is, “I went to Sunday School before I learned how to Google.”  WHAT??!!!!  Of course you went to Sunday School before asking Google for the crappiest horror movie you can watch on cable.  DJ and I happen to be raised in the Methodist church and we did Sunday School and Vacation Bible School, the whole nine.  Let me tell you, we were taking part in church based activities before we could tie our shoes by ourselves, so OF COURSE it came before Google.  Stupidest damn dialogue I’ve heard in my life.

Anyway, I have given this “movie” far too much time already.  Much more than it deserves.  We were angry with this movie and it’s stupid totems.  We both gave it a 10/100.  If you watch this, I pity you.

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About TaraRomero

I love 28 Days Later and insist that they are zombies. Infected zombies, but zombies. It's not like they're coming back, are they? No. I also have a strange obsession with Brainscan because I have a stranger obsession with Edward Furlong (mostly pre-drugged up Edward - bless his heart, I've met him and he's lovely and I'll love him till I die). Besides horror I'm addicted to writing about everything I see and think and feel. Also, I read a lot and watch too many game shows. Currently reading Poe and watching Idiotest.
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