5 Movies Starting with ‘H’ that Wish They Were Halloween

  1. The Hamiltons (2006)

Possibly one of the worst Films To Die For.  We will die if we ever have to watch it again.  A kid with a camera, some nasty incestuous sex scenes and a “surprise” ending that is fucking bullshit!  If DJ had known it was just a vampire story, he never would have sat down to watch it with me.  0/100.

A victim of The Hamiltons.

A victim of The Hamiltons.

2. Hayride (2012)

Dear someone who knows, why did we watch the whole thing?  Nobody is seen dying.  Nobody makes any good decisions.  Nobody shows boobs.  It was not original.  It was not realistic.  And it angered us.  It angered us.  Why would we sit through that?

Never again I say.  Never again.  0/100.

Yes, that is the bad guy from Kindergarten Cop.

Yes, that is the bad guy from Kindergarten Cop.

3. Heebie Jeebies (2013)

Let me tell you a little story about an overprotective Asian grandmother who lets her granddaughter out one night.  Then, she ends up telling this crazy story about a mine to a bunch of kids.  It’s a scary story, obviously (sort of).  And then, when asked where her granddaughter is, she says, “Somewhere called The Mine?”

WHAT?!!

Does she really think a nice restaurant called The Mine opened up in this small ass Southern town?  She doesn’t realize her granddaughter is at the same crazy mine as in her story?  Suffice it to say, the writing is horrible.  10/100 only cause laughable.

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4. Hollow (2012)

It’s all really Blair Witch/Paranormal Activity.  Like, there’s not even titles in the beginning, which should have ran us off, but sadly did not.  There are 2 couples, Emma’s with Scott and Lynne is with James.  But James is really in love with Emma and Lynne is really into Scott and Scott is really an asshole and no one is likable.  This movie even has an “I am so scared” crying scene.  Hand to god.  And the end may or may not imply that James is the killer, but how is beyond us.  10/100.

“If you thought this place was genuinely evil, then why did you bring us here?” – GREAT QUESTION!!!

5. Housebound (2014)

This is controversial because apparently this movie is loved by others, but ugh, did we hate it! It’s won awards and everything and just ugh.  Ugh.  The main girl starts out a bitch, there’s little to nothing of anything going on, it’s not funny, it’s not scary, it’s NOT a horror/comedy at all.  0/100.

Scary, huh?

Scary, huh?

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About TaraRomero

I love 28 Days Later and insist that they are zombies. Infected zombies, but zombies. It's not like they're coming back, are they? No. I also have a strange obsession with Brainscan because I have a stranger obsession with Edward Furlong (mostly pre-drugged up Edward - bless his heart, I've met him and he's lovely and I'll love him till I die). Besides horror I'm addicted to writing about everything I see and think and feel. Also, I read a lot and watch too many game shows. Currently reading Poe and watching Idiotest.
This entry was posted in classics, comedies, ghosts, Halloween, horror, movies, reviews and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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