Movies NOT to Watch for the Holidays

Krampus the Reckoning (2015)

Or possibly any other Krampus movie not shown in theaters.  Including Krampus: The Christmas Devil, which may be worse than The Reckoning. Not quite sure about that.  It’s a toss up really.  While this movie was on however, I did fall asleep, so….

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Look at those AWESOME special effects!!!

And since I mentioned, here’s a look at Krampus: The Christmas Devil. The chief was a decent actor, but no one else was.  But why is everyone in the movie bald?  And why does Santa walk a mile and a half to see his brother?  And why is he a fat, old, drunk?  DJ was so enraged by the B.S. that he turned it off 30 minutes in.

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New Year’s Evil (1980)

Now, we may get shit for this one, but we hated it.  See, this guy, named Evil (hahaha), starts killing people every time it hits New Year’s in a different time zone.  I’m sorry if that’s not the weakest story line ever to begin with.  But to add insult to injury his voice is irritating, not creepy.  I wanted to hit something every time I heard him.  And he looks bad, too.  I realize not all serial killers wear the sign of the devil on their forehead, but c’mon, he’s ridiculous.  The whole movie is boring and ridiculous.

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Stalled (2013)

This loser janitor who makes bad choice after bad choice, gets stuck in a bathroom stall (get it?!) during Christmas/the zombie apocalypse.  And after that, when the movie is supposed to get good, it stalls (get it?!).  It’s boring as shit.  And it is not as funny or clever as it seems to think it is.

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Silent Night, Bloody Night (1972)

A man inherits a mansion which was once an asylum and then a serial killer invades.  And apparently, NOTHING in 1972 was an emergency.  ‘Oh, the sheriff is missing you say?  I’m sure he’ll turn up.  No big deal.’  It’s confusing and also very dark.  So, you can’t even see what’s confusing you so badly.  Ugh.

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Silent Night, Gory Night

This is one we found simply because we watch horror anything.  Which makes us question our life choices when this movie happens.  But I will say that this makes you feel really good about yourself.  Seriously, watch this when you’re feeling blue because suddenly you’ll know that you could act better and write better and direct better even if you had a nervous tick, no arms and were blind.

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About TaraRomero

I love 28 Days Later and insist that they are zombies. Infected zombies, but zombies. It's not like they're coming back, are they? No. I also have a strange obsession with Brainscan because I have a stranger obsession with Edward Furlong (mostly pre-drugged up Edward - bless his heart, I've met him and he's lovely and I'll love him till I die). Besides horror I'm addicted to writing about everything I see and think and feel. Also, I read a lot and watch too many game shows. Currently reading Poe and watching Idiotest.
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