Chain Letter (2009)

Directed by Deon Taylor.  Written by Taylor, Diana Erwin, Michael J. Pagan and Thomas Fenton.  Starring Nikki Reed, Brad Dourif, Keith David and Michael J. Pagan.

Plot: a maniac murders teenagers if they don’t forward a chain mail

osxxtlTechnology will kill us all.  This isn’t an original concept.  It’s been done 10.000 times before.  Besides that, we have a chain mail stalker.  CHAIN MAIL?!!  We feel like it’s a little late for that, but hey, whatever floats your boat.  The flaws in this movie go way past that point anyway.

An anti-tech murderer decides to hunt these kids down if they don’t respond appropriately to these chain mails.  However, the rules are fucked from the jump.  The motive loses points because the killer isn’t consistent with it.  One of the dead boys didn’t even use a cell phone, so why was he killed?  Another boy responds to the chain mail and gets like, 30 more.  So how is he supposed to win?

It’s also very unrealistic.  People going places alone after they are fully aware that someone is targeting their little group.  There’s an unfit soundtrack.  Awkward direction.  A floundering story.  It tried to be a lot deeper and philosophical than it was.  But it just ended up difficult.


Good news: the specials were great!  The innovation was completely memorable.  Watch the unrated version if you can.  The opening and ending scenes are worth it.  I watched them through my fingers.

DJ enjoyed staring at Nikki for an hour and a half, but it wasn’t enough to save the movie.  We give it a 37/100.


About TaraRomero

I suppose I could list my favorite movies here, but instead I'll give you a strange glimpse into what makes me TaraRomero. 1. When I'm alone I like to sing really loudly to songs I know really well and pretend I'm actually good at it. 2. I am a bonified Hiddlestoner. 3. I have kept a journal for the last 25 years and I still own every one of them. 4. I like ordering travel magazines and picking out trips I'm going to take when I'm rich. 5. I'm currently worrying about my brother. I always worry about my brother. He's younger and it's my job. 6. If I knew I was dying in one hour, I would type a very strange email and then go spend time with my family (including my fur babies). 7. The best non-horror movie I've seen recently is The Giant Mechanical Man. 8. I am obsessed with Bob's Burgers and I watch one episode every night before I go to bed. 9. If I had a son I'd name him Malachai (as in Christian Mythology). If I had a daughter I'd name her Antigone (as in Greek Mythology). 10. My favorite band is and I supposed always will be, Matchbox Twenty. However, the music has become more upbeat lately and I don't like it as much. Just being honest.
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