The Final Destination (2009)

Directed by David R. Ellis (who did the second one).  Written by Eric Bress (who helped with the second one, but probably shouldn’t write them on his own).  Starring Bobby Campo, Shantel VanSanten, Nick Zano and Mykelti Williamson.

Plot: after a young man’s premonition of a race car accident saves a group of strangers, Death begins hunting them down

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This is my least favorite of the franchise.  Things are just SO unbelievable and so ridiculous.  I mean, these movies are made for fun and obviously you have to suspend some beliefs, but not this many.  For instance, why would you get your car washed when your fucking sunroof is malfunctioning?  And OMG, if you’re shoe is caught in the escalator, take your foot out!!  Don’t act like you’re about to lose your whole life.  And a little lesson in biology, when you’re leg is crushed you don’t automatically start coughing up blood.  That doesn’t even make sense.  That’s like your head hurting because you cut your arm.

Wait though, I’m not done with why this was my least favorite.  The death scenes were alll well and good, so it’s a shame really that so much else was wrong.  Like the redhead being so uneven.  One minute everything’s going to be okay and the next minute they’re doomed and she’s freaking out.  And fences don’t stop cars!  And this movie doesn’t follow the rest in premise.  There’s an intervention, but no one is skipped.  Why the hell not??

And DO NOT MAKE AN X-MEN REFERENCE IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!  One thing we are serious about other than horror is comics.  And Xavier is referred to as Professor, not Doctor.  Get it right!

Things I did like…. watching the racist piece of shit get his.  The excellent opening credits. And that if everyone is going to die, at least I don’t like a one of ’em.

Drink every time the redhead contradicts herself.  But take it easy, she does it a lot.  And my favorite death scene: the last one, because it means everyone is dead.

I only gave it a 40/100.  Can you believe it?!  DJ gave it a 33.

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About TaraRomero

I love 28 Days Later and insist that they are zombies. Infected zombies, but zombies. It's not like they're coming back, are they? No. I also have a strange obsession with Brainscan because I have a stranger obsession with Edward Furlong (mostly pre-drugged up Edward - bless his heart, I've met him and he's lovely and I'll love him till I die). Besides horror I'm addicted to writing about everything I see and think and feel. Also, I read a lot and watch too many game shows. Currently reading Poe and watching Idiotest.
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